Steps to warm up to your mother-in-law
By: Future Point | 14-Dec-2018Views : 691
Sometimes despite all the efforts that you put, things just seem impossible to work between you and your mother-in-law. No matter how much you try, there will be a time when things would flip face down for you. However, where there is a will there’s a way. To keep your mental well being in check, you need to calm things at your home and warm up to your mother-in-law.
This might take time, but the best advice for you is to hold your ground. You need to set some boundaries and follow it and make sure that your mother-in-law follows them too. Talk to your partner: The first step is to address the elephant in the room. You need to come clean to your partner and ask them their viewpoint on the same. Tell them what bothers you and what you have done in order to solve the tiffs. The key here is that both of you need to be on the same page. In case your partner disagrees and sides with your mother-in-law you don’t need to feel anger over this. Just narrate your take on everything that’s been happening and let them know that you will not let her disrespect you or your marriage this way.
Avoid direct confrontation: Respect is the foremost thing to consider here. The factor at play is how to coax her into believing every word you say. Respect her wishes if she tries to stay away from you, but make sure that you address it too. When you see her talking in front of others about you or your habits or anything that concerns you, the first step is to avoid. If she still doesn’t get the hint and keeps baiting you, address the issue. Avoid any confrontation. Keep your tone polite and make your presence known.
Understand. Understand. Understand.
Your Mother-In-Law must have a reason for behaving the way she is. There must be something that triggered her to hate her child’s partner. Dig deep and find the root of the problem. She is a completely different person with a completely different mindset and values. What you deem right might not make it to her good books and what you despise could be in sync with her taste. However, things do not always have to be in the extremes. Chances are she might just be having issues accepting the fact that her importance in her child’s life has been compromised. Pay attention to her actions and decipher what is triggering her. Adapt an understanding approach instead of taking everything to your heart.
She’s not a project for you to fix!
Her behaviour towards you does not require an action! You might think that you can change her and put up with whatever she keeps doing to your self-esteem only to do something miraculously up to her taste and sweep her off her feet- then you are obviously mistaken. She cannot be changed. And even if she could, you do not need to spend your energy in persuading someone to like you. If she has given you enough reasons to believe that she clearly dislikes you, there is no point in keeping up with her misdemeanours. Rather maintain your distance but do not give her a cold shoulder.
Be honest in your approach
Whenever you meet her, always be polite and wear your rose tinted glasses. A positive outlook would help nurture your relationship. On your way over to her house, smile and think of all the nice things she supports and believes in. Remember to keep a positive outlook. When you meet her, be genuine and compliment her or choose a safe spot, either the house or any particular art piece she has. Find a common and safe ground, to begin with for a conversation. But do not come off as too prying or desperately fetching for things to talk about. Let the conversation flow and take its own shape.
Get to know her.
Put yourself in your mother-in-law’s shoes when you meet her. Ask her about her marriage and how she felt at that time. You need to understand that you both deeply care about the same person, so there should be plenty to talk about. Ask her questions that she’ll be comfortable around. Ask about your partner’s childhood and how it was. Whether she had difficulties raising kids and how did she manage to be a superwoman?! These would get her to chat freely with you. Do not forget to sprinkle your conversation with compliments for her every now and then.
Treat her well
Even if your mother-in-law is a difficult woman you need to pay heed to the fact that she is family. Respect her and treat her well. Make an effort to respond in a positive manner. Do not say anything hurtful, ever. The most important part here is to never put your partner in a situation where they have to choose between the two of you. You can ask them to help, but never ask them to part ways or choose.
Consult a Marriage Astrologer to get answers to your worries!
Being Married or in a Relationship, despite the popular belief means the union of not just two people but of two families, two individuals, and two cultures. You and your partner have taken the next step in your partnership and made it official enough to meet the in-laws, so make sure that you give a lasting first impression. It might be daunting for some to adjust in a new family where you are dependant on your partner for connecting. To deal with it, find a common ground with everyone. Know things about each of the family member, either from your partner or from personal interaction to always have something to talk about. This would cease the dependability on your partner.
Change requires courage, and if you’re courageous enough to face the in-laws head on! You are the new face of valour!